On Your 9th Birthday: A Letter To My Son

I was never the type to get all warm and fuzzy over babies, or wish to hold them when presented the opportunity. I was a little afraid of them, honestly; I secretly always worried that if I held them, they would start to cry, which obviously would be a reflection of me and how much I would suck at being a mother - it was better just to avoid the experience altogether. I knew that I wanted to have a baby, of course - one day, far away in the future. Then I turned 25, and learned that things happen when you least expect them to.

When I discovered that I was pregnant, I was surprised, and scared. All of my fears about not knowing how to deal with babies and if I would be a good mother came to the forefront of my mind, but, I soon realized that it would be okay. My fears gave way to excitement, especially as months passed and you grew bigger and bigger. I have never experienced something so magical before; I  still miss watching my belly move - feeling you kick, seeing your feet and hands changing the shape of my stomach. The bond between mother and baby is very strong, and made me feel sorry for your father - he didn't get to feel what I did. He definitely missed out on all the car rides full of gangsta rap that we jammed to :)

December 6, 2006 was the BEST day of my life. Watching the doctors hold you up so I could see you after you were born, and hearing your little cry - there really is no feeling that is more amazing. The first time I held you, I couldn't stop staring at you - you were so perfect. "Wow," I thought, "I MADE this." You knew just who your mommy was, too. I would talk, and your little head would turn in the direction of my voice. My earlier fears of crying babies were moot point, because it was me that you wanted; as soon as I would hold you, you would snuggle up to me, content, and my heart would swell with happiness. The months after were even more amazing; you grew and learned so quickly. By nine months you were walking, and by 18 months you were speaking in full, complete sentences. You never went through the baby-talk phase; you jumped from knowing a few words of your core vocabulary, right into adult conversations. And handsome? My God, were you adorable - anyone that would see you would swoon over how cute you were; my sweet, precious baby.

Today you are 9 years old - NINE. I don't know how the years passed so quickly, but they did. I want you to know that I am always going to be here for you, and I will do everything in my power to help support you and encourage you to chase your dreams. My little mini-me, boy, do I see your potential; this is just the beginning. You are growing up to be the funniest, most charismatic little man. Some of the things you say to me, I have no idea where you get it from. You are just unnaturally witty and sweet, and you make me laugh every day. I wish I could take credit for it, but you are just awesome all on your own.

Thank you for making my life worth living, and thank you for being you, my little lovebug. Happy Birthday & may all of your wishes come true. <3

Love, Mommy


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