rambles and observations nov. '16

The past few days I keep looking out the back window of my house, reveling in the beauty of the changing leaves; such a metaphor for life, I think. I just rolled my eyes at myself a little on that one, but it's true. I keep meaning to take a picture of the one particular tree, it really seems to stand out with its looming, majestic beauty shadowing the surrounding trees. Somehow, I always manage to forget and yet another day has slipped by before I know it. I always find a little regret, because the leaves are changing so rapidly that the tree literally looks different from day to day. The thing is, I have looked out at that tree for the majority of my life, and I don't think I have ever really noticed it before - not sure why it is so striking to me this year. And so, that's how it works - we take things for granted - life. Until we lose something and then we slow down and pay better attention to everything surrounding us.

Sometimes losses can be wins.

Here are some random rambles of mine that I feel compelled to share from the last two weeks (and especially as 2017 is upon us). 

The most stupid, superficial thing I have to contribute. Might as well get it out of the way. 
My phones are like relationships, and I just broke out of a recent 3-year commitment to my Samsung Galaxy S4 (I literally know the date I got it (told ya I'm weird with dates) and it was nearly to the exact day). I was attached and comfortable, but it was time. I decided to go for the rose gold iPhone 7 Plus 128gb, and I feel rejuvenated. It's been a small ray of sunshine, not even gonna lie.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Cue Blink 182 - what's my age again? While I would love to once again be 28 years old, I would never want to go back to the chaos and the strife I experienced back then (ha, high-five if you know me and get the reference). But, fuck me, looks like 2009 is back for another swing. FUN.

Never tell me I haven't earned my gray hair, those mothereffers shine on my head as the badge of honor that they are. 

In case you were curious, here is a helpful article on narcissists vs. psychopaths (and don't worry, there is actually a combination of the two for some of us lucky ducks, since I was told repeatedly by those that love me to actually look it up this week): http://psychopathsandlove.com/narcissist-or-psychopath/

Also Googled: how to deal with "^."

I wonder if I should lie about my age since we're going backward? Hmmm...

And yet... A lot can change in a year.
Thanks to Facebook memories, I can remember what I did on each day last year and the years before (if my recall somehow fails me). Yesterday was a year since I attended the Cosmo Fun, Fearless Life event, and it was the day I told my friend Kat that I wanted to write. My original intention was to have no expectations with it, which is why I loved the idea - it was truly just for me. She was and is one of my biggest cheerleaders - not only for my writing but with everything that I do, and it was on that day that she made me give my first (nervous) pitch to an editor. That weekend, I sat down and wrote one of my first blog posts (happy anniversary to me 11/17), and less than two weeks later, I was accepted and published by Elite Daily. At the time, it was really huge for me (though that might sound silly) - and I still recognize and am grateful for that moment. It's only been a year, but I truly feel like my life exploded... the writing led me down different paths and made me explore things that I probably might have never explored before - things that I love and make me happy. I've added a slew of other sites to my portfolio (dude, I have a portfolio), some of which were goals on my checklist. I have successfully pitched myself to a few sites (sites I am super excited to share), not just as a writer, but as a contributor, and they are set to be published soon. Talk about validation - I don't necessarily need it, but it sure does feel good. The best part - my writing is just a small part of everything that is going on. Now, I am thinking this blog might not be enough - or really capture - me. 2017 goals in edit mode as we speak. I feel like I've grown so much, so, wow. Just wanted to acknowledge the milestone and how grateful I am for the past year.

The election was bad - woosa - like lots of badddd, so bad, omg bad everywhere. 
I won't go into detail again about how I feel - it's been covered on every site and I even blogged about it the other day. It's over, it's done. But, whoa. It's scary to think about what could happen. But I respect the office and our country, and it doesn't change who I am and what I believe in. I will always stand up for what I believe is right, not only for myself but for others who need voices to be heard on their behalf. This article helped a lot, too:

Why Your Reaction To The Election May Say More About You Than The Election  http://www.seanedwards.com/election-response/

It also made me really think about what I can DO about things I disagree with - besides just complaining on social media. Guessing others probably are thinking the same, so some good has come of it. Also good?

Things that make you go hmmm...

I'm 35, so I guess I don't fall into this category. Lols and sarcasm aside, combined with the article above, they both made me sit back and evaluate myself again honestly, which is what I always aim for.

Telling me I'm very self-aware is the biggest compliment you could give me. 

I don't think I'm a special snowflake, but I do see how the older generation could peg us as a bunch of p*ssies at times. I aim for a balance, just like with anything else. 

What do you think?

More random - a bit of my playlist for this week (because music is a central piece in my life, always):

Amuka - Appreciate Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gggyPFbAsBQ
Secrets In Stereo: Happy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5joF6OgLlJ8
Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YXVMCHG-Nk
Demi Lovato - Skyscraper https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_8ydghbGSg
Brandi Carlile - The Story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8pQLtHTPaI
Coldplay - The Scientist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB-RcX5DS5A
Wet - Don't Wanna Be Your Girl (regular and remix too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lNuttRinIA
Azure Ray - Displaced https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kQp1uxz5a0
Gravity - Sara Barielles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEXhAMtbaec
Deborah Cox - Something Happened on the Way to Heaven https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcr4lRB6F_M
and a lot of Hold On (Wilson Phillips) and Formation (and generally Lemonade) by Beyonce.


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